This week has been an up and down. I think knowing I was going home on Thursday made me just want the week out of the way. I had a massive downer on Monday night. What was wierd is that I wasn’t even unhappy at all, I just couldn’t help feeling anxious about the next day teaching. I hate that this job makes me feel like that sometimes. Having said that, once I was into my day on Tuesday I did feel alot better. I decided to hop on the metro in one of my breaks and go down to Notre Dame. I genuinely appreciated just sitting there in the quiet with the gorgeous choral music playing, just being able to think or not to think at all. Really appreciated living in Paris at that point. My school’s area might not be great, but there are so many amazing places so close by. I spent the last half hour walking from Notre Dame to the Louvre then getting the metro there. It is truly a magical place when you forget all the stress and homesickness of moving to a new country.
I guess that’s the main thing that had happened this week. I really really WANT to be here right now. I know that could be because I know I’m going home, like I said. But I’m appreciating it completely now. I am grateful for this opportunity and I finally feel like I’m getting a truly life changing and valuable and magical experience here Good times.
That said, I came home this weekend and I was intrigued as to how that would make me feel about my new found appreciation of Paris. What I’ve decided is that the happiness I have in Paris is a hardened, this is a special and enriching experience kind of happiness, whereas home is more of a natural, pure, relaxed kind of happiness. I don’t know if or which one is better than the other. Maybe I’ll always look back and never be certain. On verra
The weekend at home was just amazingly relaxing. Saturday night was Emma’s 21st… what a stunning night. Had such a great time and was fun to dress up and just be silly like old times. Met some of Em’s uni friends too who were lovely!
It was, as always, difficult coming back. I think the stress of travelling for so long and then coming back to an empty apartment is always a bit too much for me not to feel sad. But it was the first time I came back and (just) manage to hold off tears. My head was so quick to get back into everything I have going on here. So that’s something. Currently trying to decide whether to have another weekend at home before I leave for good. It wouldn’t really matter either way, I just have to make up my mind!
Au Revoir! xx